ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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