So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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