the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
