I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
