He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
