is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
