he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
