ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I'm going to jail i love you
I can text with my tongue
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize
