Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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