i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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