You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
