Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
