My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
