What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
