I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
