Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
