I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
