everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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