fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
