i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
