dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
