Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
