You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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