I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Man, jail baloney is awful.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
