Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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