i just google imaged poop.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Threesome in a minivan. New low
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
