People with herpes should wear stickers.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
