I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
