i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
