how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
