Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
