the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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