There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
did you just send me my own nude
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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