WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
