is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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