I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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