Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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