i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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