Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
