I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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