didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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