I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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