I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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