im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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