All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
