that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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