we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
