thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
