someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
