But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
