CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
