He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
